I'm back.
First, I want to talk about this blog. My original idea for this blog was that it would be a place where I'd post daily pictures of my life here and talk about my experiences living in Osaka. I had a strong start and ended up puttering out once life got busy for me, as I'm sure any regular visitors to the site must have realized.
The truth is, taking daily pictures became more stressful than fun. Of course there was always something for me to photograph, but as work and life became busier, I found myself forgetting to bring my camera with me when I went out. This meant that there were many days in which I came home at 11:30 at night and realized I had half an hour to try and take a picture; I took pictures through most of April, but the majority of them are hastily taken photographs of whatever I was eating or sitting next to at the time.
That's fairly meaningless to me.
I also felt bad about writing in here if I'd been slacking off on my photos. And, really, I want to write here. I have so many thoughts about this city, this crazy place that I've come to think of as home, and I want to share them without the guilt of "oh my God, I haven't uploaded new pictures in weeks" holding me back.
I officially quit Project365.
This doesn't mean that I won't take pictures -- actually, without the stress of taking one every day, I probably will take MORE pictures -- but I just don't want to waste my time and your time with posting meaningless pictures of red bean balls or stuffed animals. I want to make this blog mine again.
I love Osaka. I've been here for almost a year now and am planning at least one, maybe two more. (Five years later, watch me still be here...) I've had my ups and downs but I finally feel like I'm safely in the "adjustment phase" of culture shock. To be honest, I enjoy pretty much every day of my life now. I've never really been the sort of person who could say that, but I think I'm on my way to really finding a lifestyle that suits me here.
Moving into a larger apartment hasn't hurt, ahaha.
I came to Japan in 2001 and stayed for four months as an exchange student. This was in Kawachinagano City in southern Osaka prefecture, about forty minutes away on train from here. I spent seven years in America, fixed on my goal of eventually returning to Japan. Last May I made my way back and had a ridiculously hard time of it. I almost came home more than once. (Or twice... or three times...)
The whole time I was feeling miserable here, I kept thinking... why did I come here? What was my purpose? I found it difficult to practice my Japanese while working as an English teacher. I had a hard time making friends because I'm not so into the bar and drinking scene. My standard of living was pathetically low, living in pest-infested shoebox apartments and tiny "shared" dorm-style buildings. What had driven me to come back? I left a job I loved and people I cared deeply about back home... for what?
I don't know why I'm here. But the angle with which I approach that question is different now; before, I wanted to know my goal so I could take steps towards accomplishing it. Now I'm far more interested in the journey. Maybe I'll never figure out why I just had to come back here. Perhaps there's no deep reason for it at all. Maybe I studied Japanese so hard just to have the skills to survive here. I know I can't get a job using Japanese at my current level; while my listening skills are great, my reading isn't so strong and I speak with an uncontrollable Osakan accent. But perhaps that isn't important after all. Maybe just being here is enough.
I love this city. I love that I can get on my bike and -- if I have a vague idea of my destination's general location -- go anywhere in city limits. I love the local food. I love the cabbage pancakes, the octopus balls, the fried noodles. I love how loud people are here. I love that I can watch strangers come up to each other on the street to ask for directions and burst into laughter moments later. I love the dialect, the architecture, the trains, the style. I just love it here. I can ride my bike down one major street and see so many different ways of life.
That's the best. Osaka is the best.
That's what I want to do with this blog. I want to turn it into a love letter to this city, this country, to my time here. I'm blessed to be young enough and unattached enough (especially the latter, ahaha) to have the chance to spend a few years living abroad. I've even come to love my job.
My favorite band is a crappy Japanese boyband called w-inds. They're my favorite thing ever. They have a song called Beautiful Life that has been playing in my head nonstop lately. The main lyric of the song predictably states that it's a beautiful life. I honestly feel that way.
First, I want to talk about this blog. My original idea for this blog was that it would be a place where I'd post daily pictures of my life here and talk about my experiences living in Osaka. I had a strong start and ended up puttering out once life got busy for me, as I'm sure any regular visitors to the site must have realized.
The truth is, taking daily pictures became more stressful than fun. Of course there was always something for me to photograph, but as work and life became busier, I found myself forgetting to bring my camera with me when I went out. This meant that there were many days in which I came home at 11:30 at night and realized I had half an hour to try and take a picture; I took pictures through most of April, but the majority of them are hastily taken photographs of whatever I was eating or sitting next to at the time.
That's fairly meaningless to me.
I also felt bad about writing in here if I'd been slacking off on my photos. And, really, I want to write here. I have so many thoughts about this city, this crazy place that I've come to think of as home, and I want to share them without the guilt of "oh my God, I haven't uploaded new pictures in weeks" holding me back.
I officially quit Project365.
This doesn't mean that I won't take pictures -- actually, without the stress of taking one every day, I probably will take MORE pictures -- but I just don't want to waste my time and your time with posting meaningless pictures of red bean balls or stuffed animals. I want to make this blog mine again.
I love Osaka. I've been here for almost a year now and am planning at least one, maybe two more. (Five years later, watch me still be here...) I've had my ups and downs but I finally feel like I'm safely in the "adjustment phase" of culture shock. To be honest, I enjoy pretty much every day of my life now. I've never really been the sort of person who could say that, but I think I'm on my way to really finding a lifestyle that suits me here.
Moving into a larger apartment hasn't hurt, ahaha.
I came to Japan in 2001 and stayed for four months as an exchange student. This was in Kawachinagano City in southern Osaka prefecture, about forty minutes away on train from here. I spent seven years in America, fixed on my goal of eventually returning to Japan. Last May I made my way back and had a ridiculously hard time of it. I almost came home more than once. (Or twice... or three times...)
The whole time I was feeling miserable here, I kept thinking... why did I come here? What was my purpose? I found it difficult to practice my Japanese while working as an English teacher. I had a hard time making friends because I'm not so into the bar and drinking scene. My standard of living was pathetically low, living in pest-infested shoebox apartments and tiny "shared" dorm-style buildings. What had driven me to come back? I left a job I loved and people I cared deeply about back home... for what?
I don't know why I'm here. But the angle with which I approach that question is different now; before, I wanted to know my goal so I could take steps towards accomplishing it. Now I'm far more interested in the journey. Maybe I'll never figure out why I just had to come back here. Perhaps there's no deep reason for it at all. Maybe I studied Japanese so hard just to have the skills to survive here. I know I can't get a job using Japanese at my current level; while my listening skills are great, my reading isn't so strong and I speak with an uncontrollable Osakan accent. But perhaps that isn't important after all. Maybe just being here is enough.
I love this city. I love that I can get on my bike and -- if I have a vague idea of my destination's general location -- go anywhere in city limits. I love the local food. I love the cabbage pancakes, the octopus balls, the fried noodles. I love how loud people are here. I love that I can watch strangers come up to each other on the street to ask for directions and burst into laughter moments later. I love the dialect, the architecture, the trains, the style. I just love it here. I can ride my bike down one major street and see so many different ways of life.
That's the best. Osaka is the best.
That's what I want to do with this blog. I want to turn it into a love letter to this city, this country, to my time here. I'm blessed to be young enough and unattached enough (especially the latter, ahaha) to have the chance to spend a few years living abroad. I've even come to love my job.
My favorite band is a crappy Japanese boyband called w-inds. They're my favorite thing ever. They have a song called Beautiful Life that has been playing in my head nonstop lately. The main lyric of the song predictably states that it's a beautiful life. I honestly feel that way.
love you lissa....what a touching, emotional reveal.....whatever you do on this blog, mother will be here.....
ReplyDeleteI would argue that any project that requires a daily output of creative material is doomed to failure, because placing artificial demands on creativity ("I must write from 3 to 4 every afternoon," etc) will only stifle it to the point of meaninglessness.
ReplyDeleteEveryone loves pictures. I love taking pictures. But writing is a lot more interesting than photos of random people and food. By all means, keep on recording that stuff (I certainly do!), but use it as a side dish to supplement your writing - not as the main course.